Start by thinking less, I tell myself. Do more. Love more, and it will come back to you. So far in life I’ve done the opposite. I’ve loved from afar, then added more and more protective and hostile layers the closer I’ve gotten to the object of my affection. The longer the relationship, the more I’ve seemed to withhold. Why? Because, I think, shedding those layers would mean I would eventually come to know myself. What a terrifying thought.
I demand unconditional love and complete freedom. That is why I am terrible.
With you, intimacy colours my voice.
even ‘hello’ sounds like ‘come here’.